Dear Corpulent Pagan God/Portly Brand Warrior/Materialist Saint of Jiggling Paunch

I haven’t ever written to you before because frankly, I’ve never been quite that naïve. You’ve never functioned in any sort of actuality in my life, not even in my years with Dave, as I’ve always thought him better than the sheep: those strictly adherent to your reign ( Read more... )

you know the strider family motto, dave.
when nothing else works on your fucking mystical knobface fever, use the magical spring recommended to you second-hand by a dickhead scientist.
years we've had that shit framed over our fireplace.
passed down through the generations with care.
memorized by each new strider child the moment they learn their ( Read more... )